Church - It's not about YOU!
If you are lucky enough to be at an age where you sit in church and you have no little ones at your feet, or your children have been through Sunday School and they are now in Youth, then relax this article is not about you.
However, if you fall into the category of having those little ones, or any age child that is still in school, this article is very much for you. You see, when we reach the great age of driving to church and it is just you and your husband or wife in the car, then you can freely choose where you go to worship our Great God. Where should you choose? Well God will show you and lead you. You should be comfortable in a place where you can worship and serve others and where you feel you have community.
All of these luxuries are not afforded to those that have children of school age. Why? Because your priority when choosing a church should not be about you. It is all about your children, and your choice of church should be where the Sunday School is; simply put - Brilliant!
Brilliant in curriculum (it should be bible based). Brilliant in fun, meaningful crafts that help your child learn and remember. Brilliant in encouraging your child through their faith journey learning the fundamentals so that they arrive at Youth and adulthood with a relationship with Jesus.
Why? Because it’s your job to seek out the Church with this type of Sunday School. You may not like the adult teaching, you may not like the type of worship, you may not feel community within this church (which would be rare if it has great leadership to organise a great children’s church). As I say, it really isn’t about your needs. Look at your family - who needs to be saved? who in your family hasn’t given their heart entirely to God? If it’s your husband or wife, find a place where that can happen, if it is your child’s heart that needs saving, then find a place that will do it. The alternative, you will find your children aged 15, not in Church youth, not walking with the Lord, and that has the potential to go down through the ages for years to come!
Do you choose your Childrens school on whether they serve great coffee and snacks at Parent Evenings or Events? Do you choose your Childrens school because the carpark “works for you”? No, you choose it for a whole host of other reasons that are all centered around your child and their needs. Well church is the same. You have a lifetime to learn from excellent teaching, and a host of ways to do that. However, unless you are going to sit with your children weekly or daily and teach them at home with the love and passion of a good Sunday School Teacher, then Church is not about you! It’s all about your children.
So many times, I hear people say that they are leaving a particular church because they feel God is telling them to move! Well, I would never question God, but I would question a decision that moves a family from a church when the Sunday School is reaching every need of that child. This should be the priority for “a moving” decision. I have seen children broken hearted because they are leaving their friends and their Sunday School. I want to say to these families, “Oh you’re moving, that’s wonderful, have you checked out the Sunday School at your new Church?” “Has your child already come running out clutching their craft filled with excitement about what they have just learnt”? I want to add “will your child be invited up on stage at the end of every term where with glee they sing or do movements to a song, or act out a part of the bible, or run around dressed as an angel?” A memory that will sear into their tiny hearts forever.
Now, I don’t want to come across as “bitter”, and I totally understand that some families need to move, either with work or moving across the country or for whatever reason. Do you know the most popular reason given for moving churches? Here it is - “God told me to”.
Really; well I come with experience of this, I have moved countries twice. My husband and I felt like God was guiding us. However, it didn’t come in a nice package, we didn’t wake one morning and think - Let’s upheave our lives and move to a new Country. No! Let me tell you what usually happens. Everything in your world seems to fall apart. For good or bad reasons, your business will suddenly sell or fail, your child will start to get bullied at a school they have been happy at. Your property will sell, your friends will seem like they have abandoned you. Things get very, very uncomfortable when God is trying to lead you to pastures new. Things get tough, until you cry and say, “why God” and then the penny drops. The penny that has been coated in prayer for weeks, and months - God will allow uncomfortable things to happen when he is trying to move you to your next. So, when we “hear from God”, let us make sure that it is God, test it, and make sure it isn’t just you that is bored with serving on the welcome or packing up the chairs.
Changes of routine are very tough on little ones; they are memorable and not for all the right reasons. Believe me I have experience of this and can write from the heart, you have to make sure that you are following God’s plan for all of your family. If you are, you will be blessed beyond measure for being obedient and trusting him, for packing up your life into boxes and seeking the unknown.
That is not the same as seeing the shiny new building and the well kitted out play area for the children at the new church down the road. The coffee and welcome may be great, and oh the worship will be magically loud with the lights beating out to the same timing as the songs; and they will reach an emotional high every time. However, will your child get sticky fingers whilst putting together their piece of artwork? Will they run out and show you the craft they want proudly on the fridge? Will the Sunday School teacher have been sitting up most of the Saturday night before so that everything is cut out and ready to teach their class with love?
So, to all the parents out there, when choosing a church don’t send your child into the new environment of a Sunday School without going with them. Check it out, hear what is being taught, look into the teachers and volunteers’ eyes and see what your child will see. When choosing a church, or moving to a new church, or leaving a church, please remember as a parent it’s nothing to do with your needs but everything about your child’s.
It is our job to be disciples of men, well let’s not miss out on those important people, our children. Their needs should come first, saving our family’s souls should be priority number one.
